Scorpio
It’s hard being me not being able to just let lose like I want to having my morals & rules always holding me back having that Scorpio trying to rip out of my skin all the time & my mind & imagination have no boundaries. One person came to mind when reading this & he’s another Scorpio & oh is there passion & deep connection on every level…. Good God yes!
Like a moth I’m drawn into your flame.I’m so confused, So hard to choose.Between the pleasure and the pain.And I know it’s wrong, and I know it’s right I just can’t put up a fight.You bring me to my knees.I’m not strong enough to stay away
So I don’t really do this thing called sleep well not during the night at least I’m kinda like a vampire, anyways while doing my not sleeping thing I found this & I think it’s new & I love it cause it’s totally true!!!
Thoughts on “Secret lover”
Came up with this thought at 3am the first night alone after our unexpected 3 nights 4 days together.
Being a Scorpio/the way I was made is almost too much to handle. With all that comes with it one of the hardest things is having your feelings on another level. To feel so deeply, intensely, sometimes even so quickly & having so much passion! Not knowing if what you’re feeling is real or if you are being swept up in the the power of your own amplified desires. I also seem to have this power over people & make them feel the same way! Asking myself when I haven’t already scared the person away: How can I trust what I feel?
Came up with this thought today.
So I was thinking to myself after texting with the guy who wants me as his “secret lover” (He wasn’t with his Gf when we spent this time together but he’s with her again) I asked myself, Would I feel the same way about him if I wasn’t a secret? What if he wanted to pursue me have there be an us? Would the age matter? Would I take him even though he breaks so many of the rules that I have? Would it be just as exciting? Would I have heart pounding butterflies or would I get scared & say we could never happen & what would people think? What if it didn’t work out? Do I just want him because I can’t have him & I like the naughtiness of it? Would it be the same? Would I feel the same? Even though he is what is on my mind a lot of the time & I can’t get those 4 days we spent together out of my head!!! All I know is in those 4 days all of that didn’t matter it was pure connection & attraction in every way & we were in each others heads we knew each others thoughts desires & pains. I felt something that no man had made me feel before & all without actually becoming one! A woman free to be herself & feel beautiful in her own skin I didn’t have to impress him do or say anything, me just simply being myself drove him crazy he wanted me just as I was & everything that I was worried about & my self judgements didn’t matter to him. Is that what I really miss? Or did he just completely seduce my mind body & soul? I don’t even know if I’ll ever get to find out the answer but I’m digging deeper into myself.
